NEXT IS WAT?

It’s that time of the year again. It is that damn blasted time when everyone seems to be part of a conspiracy in nagging you with the same question- “What next? Or what will you do after this?” It is a very pertinent question, but unsettling nevertheless. And the answer isn’t easy. Well how could it be when even Samsung and Aamir Khan ask Next is Wat?
Jokes apart, this is a very serious issue. It causes not only weight and appetite loss, but also immense tension. The mind is engaged in a tug of war with not two but a dozen teams simultaneously. Sleepless nights follow and the dark circles forget to vacate. It is not a healthy trend.
I thought I had got rid of it when I graduated, especially when I entered an M.A. programme. With a great sense of relief I thought I would be secure for two years, but the expiry date of security is ending, and I’m panicking.
Solutions are not easy to come by, especially not when people pretend to be helpful by giving advice, for it is the only free thing on earth (damn the phrase there is no free lunch). So advice comes in various forms. “So you’ll do an MPhil?” Or, even better, “You’ll go in for a PhD then.” I say- well I wish I could have said it but I didn’t owing to years of being taught not to talk back- give me an exciting research proposal and I’ll apply today.
Research topics don’t fall out of the sky. After years of schooling in Romantic and Victorian literature, it is unsettling to be exposed to literary theory, eco-criticism which negates a lot of what Wordsworth wrote, post-colonialism, post-modernism, and the delightfully difficult gender studies. That’s when all the old ideas and interests vanish into the air and one is thrown into a sea of ideas which are new to you but old to the world. Research in literature is out, cultural studies is in. So are gender studies and media studies. But pray, (see the influence) what is Cultural Studies? And hasn’t a lot been written about it already? No one said research was easy. I should have known that before straying in to the M.A. programme. But it is too late now.
Well, I yet don’t have an answer. This has just helped me vomit the anxiety. The solution will take awhile. Till then keep watching this space.